Friday, October 02, 2009

Fat sugaaaaaar boy,

just wanna say thank you for giving in to me so much to the extent that i actually feel guilty, being so selfless, so understanding, so sweet, so dumb and lastly so so fucking wonderful. Accepting what i really am, not even asking me to change. i hope all these wouldnt change in the near future.. All those things you did, i can feel it. my heart aint made of cold hard rock. just that i dont really express how i feel unless its those negative feelings. bet you know it too. being with you feels really awesome. very sweet feeling.. sweeter than sugar i suppose. feelings that i haven felt for a very very very long time. you're really such a big idiot. always have your ways to make me so speechless so happy. i really wonder what i did in my past life to deserve good guys like you and him. i guess you two are the only ones who can tolerate me & my flaws. i dont need it forever, just right now this moment would be enough. i got no idea if we would be together in the near future. but i assure you that all these moments, be it bad or good, i'll definitely wont take it for granted like i did in the past. i know happiness is within my grab but its just not the right time. the firewall in my heart hasnt disappear yet. plus i got no confidence too. seen too much bad examples. my cousin is one already. i really got scared by it. i dont wish to be like her. she's suffering a lot yet i cant do anything about it & my heart really feel pain for her when she's like that because of a guy like him.

i dont know what am i talking about. -.- hope you understand. i really dont know how to express how i feel. geez. another flaw. something that i know for sure, is im falling in love with you. in a very very slow pace though. (:

Updates tomorrow after i wake up. heh. byebye!

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