Sunday, September 20, 2009

i know you would be reading this. this is specially written for you.

I'm feeling so god damn stupidly guilty, even up till now. i did something very very bad to someone. i feel so bad having to do this. i didnt expect that you're such a good person. i thought you're like any other people out there. didnt expect you to trust me so much. didnt expect that you aint angry with me despite me doing this to you. the more you say you arent angry with me, the amount of guiltiness i have inside me gets higher. i rather you scold, get angry, get pissed with me, make me cry. & not trying not make me feel less guilty, not trying to make me happy you know.. i feel ultimately bad about it i swear. literally feel like tearing myself apart, dig a huge hole and hide myself inside. if i got the chance, i wont wanna do it either, to anyone else. i cant help it, seen/heard too many things before my eyes & ears. so naturally there's a firewall built up inside me.

you always got me so speechless. surprised that how you can accept for who i am despite me having so much flaws. surprised how can you not get angry. surprised that how much you can really give in to me. surprised that how idoitic you can be at times. surprised that how you make me shut up look away from you after i text you even though im right beside you. surprised that how bloody disappointed you look when i said that which makes me feel like im the most sinful girl on earth. surprised that you actually cares about how i feel instead of how you feel. surprised that how you make me blushed so much. shall see if you can really accept for what i am in the near future. i seriously have no idea whats wrong with your brain. retarded ass. wonder why are you so retarded, i thought you very smart one.

A purple giacinto for you to shows how apologetic i am.
原谅我好不好? 我知错了.
memaafkan aku? then aku sayang awak many many! =x

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