Friday, July 20, 2007

im not trying to defend myself or whatever... i does not felt being trusted by my boyfriend. im not the only one who can't felt that feeling of being trusted, even my girlfriends, the outsiders can't feel it too. is not i dun love you already, thats why i can't feel that im being trust by u. firstly, you have to give me the feeling of being trust so that i could felt that. but u din gave me that feeling. so how am i gonna feel that im being trusted.. during geog, when u ask me "then you want this relationship to end or what wtf" it hurts deeply... real deep. controlling myself not to cry during geog lesson. all those vulgar words used... hurts okay..

meifang was not with me at that point of time, i sitting there alone feeling so helpless, thinking why did u said that. he is NOT mine, yet u ask me go find him and u even said "your" meifang said that at least u din put "your" in caps. wondering i should be relived or what...

u pushed me to him. whose boyfriend will push his girl to another guy... that hurts even more okay... i did not want all this to happen.. i does not expect it to happen too.. i dun wan this friendship of you and him be ruin because of me.. i dun wan you two to 反目晨仇。maybe at the begining i should not know all of you, then all this things that are happening won't be happening. you two are still friends. both of you wun be sort of fighting with each other because of a dumb ass idiotic girl like me. maybe what don said was right.... im an idiot whom does not know what my bf dun like, like, thinks.

so now... im trying to be an idiot. an idiot who does not know what is right or wrong. an idiot whom does things that upset her boyfriend.. an idiot!

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