Friday, June 29, 2007

taken from joke daily

Define sex

Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable.

Phua Chu Kang (PCK) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!

S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man PCK: It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.

S: Why do women hate it when they get raped?

PCK: It is like when you are walking on the street, someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??

S: Why woman cannot have sex when they are having menses?

PCK: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ?? Use your blain use your blainnn....

S: Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.

PCK: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.

S: Why are making love carried out in private?

PCK: Use your blain, use your blainnnnn....Will you dig your nose in front of your class?Stupid!

S: Wah . . father you very good..

A Man Was Complaining To God....

Oh Lord, please have mercy on me, I work so very hard, meanwhile my wife stays at home. I would give anything if you would grant me one wish "Please, switch me into my wife. She's got it easy at home and I want to teach her a lesson of how tough a man's life is!"

As God was listening he felt sorry for this poor soul and granted his wish.

Next morning the "new woman" wakes up at dawn..........
1) and takes a quick shower and other quick grooming,
2) makes coffee for self and spouse,
3) feeds the cat,
4) makes lunch boxes,
5) prepares breakfast for four,
6) wakes up the kids for school,
7) prepares clothes for the littlest one,
8) puts a load of clothes in the washer
9) takes the meat out of the freezer
10) drives the kids to school,
11) on his way back, stops at the gas station for a fill-up,
12) cashes a check at the local bank,
13) stops by to pay the electricity and phone bills,
14) picks up some clothes from the cleaners,
15) quickly goes to the grocery store for this week's essentials,
16) And on the last leg home, stops at the post office to pick up a package.

By the time he gets home, it's 1:00 PM already, so..............

17) he makes the beds,
18) takes the clothes out of the washer into the dryer and puts another load in to wash,
19) folds and puts away the clothes that don't need ironing,
20) he vacuums the house,
21) boils some rice for his late lunch,
22) goes to pick up the kids from school and argues with them while driving

As soon as he gets home...........
23) he feeds the kids a snack,
24) puts the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and starts the machine,
25) he takes out second load of damp clothes to put into the dryer,
26) he helps the kids with their homework,
27) finally, he feeds the dog,
28) watches some TV while he irons some clothes from the first load,
29) prepares and serves dinner,
30) empties the dishwasher to load some more,
31) cleans the stovetop and puts away leftovers,
32) prepares the trash to be taken out,
33) he gives the littlest kid a bath,
34) And reads them each a story to put them to sleep.

By 9:00 PM he was so tired............
35) and he brushes his teeth and prepares for bed,
36) reads the mail and quickly looks at the newspaper,
37) briefly discusses with spouse the day's activities,
38) And despite the exhaustion, he manages to make love, and then finally
falls asleep.

The next morning he prays to God once again:
"Oh Lord, what was I thinking when I asked you to grant my wish, I can't take it anymore. I beg you please switch me back to myself, please oh please!"

Then he heard God's voice speaking to him, saying:
"Dear son, of course I'll switch you back into yourself now that you are wiser, but there's one minor detail, ...................
you will have to wait nine months because last night you got pregnant."


There was a boy, whose parents were very strict in his upbringing. They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives. However, one day, he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his Mother and asked her what they were doing.

His Mother told him. "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will turn to stone that very minute!"

On his 21st Birthday, he went out with some friends, who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around town. She knew that he had never been kissed before.

When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted. She asked him, "What are you afraid of? It won't hurt." He replied, "My Mother said if I kiss a girl, I'll die that very minute!" She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot kiss, square across the lips. He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die." She asked, "Why are you going to die?" He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!"

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